Back again, now what?
by KatVal
Summary: Bella Swan is a vampire. Her true love left when she was still a human. Can she heal again after so much agony? all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
1. When the rain comes down

One

The rain was coming down hard and fast. Bella Swan opened her eyes and looked outside. It was wet and green. Just like always. Bella got up and got ready for the day, the routine was the same as always. When she got downstairs she grabbed her keys and ran into the rain. Her Mazda was parked in the driveway and Bella quickly got in it. She started the car and sped down the street. First day of high school

in Forks for Liz Mullen. That was her new ID. She was a student at Forks high from the New York. Her parents sent her there to live with her aunt. New ID, new story, new beginning; yet it all felt old. Bella was almost fifty years old, her body showed her to be only eighteen. She was a vampire, an immortal creature of the shadows. Liz was supposed to be a new student, human, normal.

Bella tried to block out all the memories that were flooding her mind. She did not want to remember the last time she was a student here. The only reason that she was back was that Charlie was dying and she wanted to be near him when he passes away. He had only a couple of months left. Bella wanted to be near him even as a stranger who volunteered to be his nurse. Her appearance was different. She had black, shoulder length hair. Her eyes were light honey colored thanks to what she was. All in all she looked like to model, rather than the skinny seventeen year old that she has once been.

Bella pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. The rain stopped, but the clouds were heavy. She went to the office, following the same routine as she did the first time. She got her schedule, and went to her first class. The school was a bit bigger in student population than the last time. Many kids turned their heads toward her as Bella walked to her Civics class. "Here we go again," she thought. When she got to her class, it was already nearly full, her seating options were slim. She walked to the teacher and handed her slip.

"Welcome, Liz Mullen ," the teacher said in a nasal voice. She nodded and took the slip back from him. Bella quickly went to a seat near the back.

The class was boring, Mr. Coles, the teacher talked about how to get a law passed. It was a long hour. When the bell rang, Bella went to her second, then third class- Algebra II then Chemistry. Those classes proved to be a bit more interesting than the first. The kids in the classes were all whispering about her. She heard them. Though only two actually approached, the first was the student president, Jenny Sims. The second was a jock who tried to him on her. He was turned down quickly, but gently.

All in all her day was rather pleasant. She gained courage to make this work. After school she resolved to go to the hospital and sign up as a volunteer to help make house calls. That way she'd be able to help Charlie. That was her only goal here in Forks.


	2. What she left behind

All belongs to Stephenie Meyer the Great!

Two

"Hi, my name is Elizabeth Mullen. I've applied for a volunteer position here." Bella said to the nurse at the front desk.

"Yes, here you go sweetie." The woman replied kindly. Bella thanked her and headed to the elevator.

She was looking over her orientation packet when the scent hit her. The smell was awful. Bella got off the elevator as soon as she could. Only the smell got worst. Whatever it was got off at the same floor. Bella walked down the hall, her curiosity getting the best of her. Then she saw him, a man that she never thought she'd encounter again. "Jake!" Bella asked in disbelieve.

Jacob Black turned his head at the sound of his name. When he saw her, every hair on his body stood up. He instantly knew what she was. "How does she know my name?" he thought to himself.

The moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Jake was her best friend when she was a human. But now he was her enemy and she was his. It was stupid to expose herself like that. Now she'll also have to tell him who she is and she wanted her identity hidden from everyone. Still, the damage was done. She was facing a very confused, very edgy werewolf. "Jake, it's me…Bella." She said quietly. His eyes just about jumped out of his head when he heard this. He looked at her again.

"Unbelievable," Jake whispered as he recognized his friend. "Bella Swan is back."

"No, Jake, not Bella Swan. Now I'm Liz. Liz Mullen." Bella said. There was about a six feet distance between them. Neither of them came forward. Just looked at each other, Jake was beginning to show his age. He still looked like he's in his thirties, but his face now showed signs of aging. This meant that he was no longer on duty. Suddenly Bella began to worry about what her return would do to the pack. Would they have to start their patrols again? Start phasing again, and not aging? She didn't know. "Jake, why are you at the hospital?" Bella asked.

"It's Embry's aunt. She's had surgery and I agreed to pick her up." He said. Her approach hurt him. Wasn't she at least going to ask how he's been all these years?

"Bella, why are you back?" he asked. The least she could is tell him that.

"Charlie is really sick. I'm going to look after him until he passes." She said.

"He's sick?" Jacob said, appalled. "Why hadn't my dad mentioned it?"

"I don't know. Jake, that is all I'm doing. I really hope that my return doesn't get the pack out of retirement."

Jacob realized why she was acting so strange. She thought that her return wouldn't be welcomed. "Bella, it doesn't matter if it does. I never thought that I'll see you again. The furthest thing from my mind is the werewolf details. Who cares if we do change again. It's great to see you again, even if you do stink." He smiled at the last part.

Bella felt relief. Of course she still felt that she might bring unnecessary problems for the pack. It was still good to feel wanted and welcomed. From behind her a nurse approached. Bella realized that she was probably very late for her orientation.

"Jake, I'll call you." She said.  
"You have to go?" He sounded disappointed.

"Yes. It really was great to see you here. We'll catch up soon." After that she hurried to the elevator. For the first time since leaving Forks, Bella felt the pain of what she left behind, who she left behind.

Ok, I'm going to try and make my later chapters longer. I'm just seeing where this story goes….


	3. How the sleepless spent their nights

Bella Swan belongs to Stephenie Meyers, so does the setting.

Three

When the doors opened on the ninth floor, Bella stepped out and took a deep breath. She needed to be composed for the Orientation. She proceeded to the room with a sign for Volunteer Orientation for Home Visitations.

Walking inside, she saw about 20 people in the room. They were all different ages, some looked like college students, while others were middle aged or older. Bella walked to the table that had all the name tags and found hers.

The instructor was a gray headed, short woman. Her name tag said, Volunteer Coordinator- Betty Moss. It was apparent that the session hasn't started yet, people were still talking and Mrs. Moss was looking at notes in front of her. Bella approached her and introduced herself, " Hi, my name is Liz." The woman looked up. She seemed speechless for a second. A reaction that Bella got a lot around humans.

"Hello. I'm Mrs. Moss the Volunteer coordinator. It's nice to have you here." Then as a second thought, she added. "It's good to see such young people want to give up their free time to help the ill."

"I think so too," Bella added.

Mrs. Moss started the orientation after about 5 more minutes. She began by having each person introduce themselves and tell their reason for being there. When it was Bella's turn, she got a lot of questions due to the fact that she was new and the youngest one there- oh, the irony of both of those assumptions. There weren't many males there, but one of them showed a particular interest toward Bella. He was a college student and his grandmother was in hospice care, so he decided to help at the hospital with people who still might recover. Bella was touched but cautious of his regard toward her.

The rest of the meeting the group learned what is expected of them as volunteers. Bella found herself rather bored with the information. "I guess I did too much research of my own," she thought as Mrs. Moss went on and on about their responsibilities. Finally after 2 hours the session was completed. The only thing left is the actual training which Bella and the other volunteers would get on a Saturday. Bella rose from her seat. She knew that she'll need to hunt after she left the hospital. Then she planned of finishing what little homework she had. It was almost 7 when she left the hospital.

Bella drove her car home and then hunted in the nearby woods. She was back at the house at 9. Homework, like predicted, didn't take long at all. Then Bella showered, put on dark clothes and ran out of the house. She was going to see Charlie. Her heart broke each time she saw him, and it bled to because she couldn't do anything to comfort him.


	4. What memories can do to a girl

Disclaimer- _Twilight _belongs to Stephenie Meyer

Four

The house was dark; there wasn't a porch light on like it used to be when Bella lived with Charlie. He always turned on the outside light at night. Bella slowed to a stop. She looked at her old home for a moment before jumping into the tree. It was the same way that Edward got into the house without Charlie's knowledge, through the window of Bella's room. Once inside, Bella walked without glancing at anything and went out to the hallway.

Bella knew that Charlie never gave up hope on finding his only daughter. He refused to believe that she was dead. Her room was proof of that, he never changed anything in it and cleaned it every couple of weeks. There wasn't any dust anywhere or stuffiness like there should be in an unoccupied room. Bella didn't allow herself to dwell on the fact that her father was right. She was still alive, kind of, and she did come back. As Bella approached his room, she listened to his breathing. It was heavy and he coughed every so often. She stood still for a couple of moments and made sure that he was asleep before entering the room. There she changed his glass, refilling it with fresh water. Then she went and looked to see what medications he was taking. It looked like he was taking about five different pills. All were heavy duty pills made to prolong his life and give his some relief from the pain. Bella checked to see if they needed to be refilled. She made a mental list of the once that were getting low. She wanted to call the pharmacy tomorrow and make sure that they delivered her father's next refill before he ran out. The pharmacist and Charlie's doctor thought that Bella was an out of state relative who was helping with bills and keeping up with Charlie's condition. Bella made sure that no one could track her, but she still wanted to be there for her father.

Bella stayed with Charlie while he was sleeping. She thought about all the memories that she has in this house. Her human memories didn't fade as much as she expected them to. Bella thought about her childhood years, how she hated coming here, all the fishing trips with Charlie. Then her mind began to wonder toward the last years, when Bella moved in with Charlie to live there. Bella knew that this was a dangerous territory. It was bad enough having to come into the house the same way as "he" did, that always triggered emotions in her. Bella didn't allow herself to recall his memories, the pain would cripple her if she did. Yet, this time she couldn't help it. She thought about how many hours she's spent in her room with Edward without her father ever getting a clue. That memory stung in her chest, sending pain through her body. Bella knew she had to get out of the house now.

She ran and went out the same way as she came in. "Will I ever get over him?" she thought miserably. Bella wondered many times about tracking the Cullen family down, but she never did. Bella didn't want to see the sick look on their faces when they see her be one of them. She didn't want to see Edward be disgusted with her by seeing her again. "That is exactly what he would do," she told herself. Why would he not? He made it so clear that she wasn't to be a part of his world, his life. So she stayed away.

The rain was starting to fall again as Bella ran home. It was about 4 in the morning. She'll have to get ready for another day. Bella thought about her encounter with Jacob Black. She knew that he married a girl that came to the reservation and they had a child. That was about all that she knew. Jacob had been a good friend for her. He held her together when she was human. It was her choice to leave and not keep in touch after she was attacked. Bella decided that she would call Jake and catch up with what he's life is like. She needed some type of distraction and Jake could always hold her together, make her feel wanted. This brightened her outlook on the day considerably. Bella went into the house and started her routine all over again.

In the next chapter, you'll find out what happened to Bella. Who turned her into a vampire and what she's been up to until she came back to Forks. Stay tuned.

Reader, this is my first fan fiction, and I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing. I hope that I'll get better at writing longer chapter as I go along. Right now, I'll write often, but the chapters will be short. Let me know if you like the story or if you don't. Also, please let me know if I made any grammatical mistakes in my story. That is one of my biggest pet-peeves. Thanks you.

KatVal


	5. catching up with Jacob

Disclaimer- I do not own anything related to _Twilight_, but I really wish that I did.

Chapter 5

Bella left the house around 8 in the morning. It was a foggy morning with heavy clouds. She sighted and drove to school. Her day at school was very slow, she didn't socialize very much with anyone, yet everyone seem to know her. She got questioned about her life in New York, her parents. Bella lied to every question. She wondered where the sudden bravery came from. Yesterday, almost no one approached her. When she was coming back from lunch for the remaining classes, she heard two girls whispering about her.  
"I heard that she turned down Kell Jones yesterday." One of the girls whispered. Both of them laughed at this. "Well, it's not like he had anything that she can't get elsewhere." Bella realized that Kell Jones has probably given Bella popularity that she didn't want. She walked off thinking about how deal with this. Things only got worst as the day ended. She was asked to join several clubs, teams, and other after school activities. Bella declined, yet, no one seemed to think any less of her for it. She actually had girls follow her after school because they wanted to see if she would go to the mall with them. Bella was tired of being diplomatic. She turned down their offer, saying that her aunt wasn't feeling well and she had to take care of her.

Finally Bella got home. She finished her homework, called the pharmacy about Charlie's medications, and then she dialed Jacob's number.

"Hello?" a female answered.

"Hi, my name is Bella. I'm an old friend of Jacob's."

"Oh, hello Bella," she replied. "My name is Trisha, I'm his wife. He has talked about nothing else since he came home yesterday."

Bella was surprised by her friendliness. "Then again, she is married to Jacob," Bella thought to herself.

"It's nice to finally talk to you, Trisha," Bella said.

"You too, Bella. Jacob had told me so much about you. Here, let me put Jacob on the phone. He is just walking through the door," Trisha said.

"Thank you."

"Hello," Jacob's voice was on the other end of the line.  
"Hi, Jake," Bella said.

"Oh, Bella! I wasn't sure if you would call."

"Jacob, didn't I promise that I'd call?" Bella said with disapproval in her voice. Jacob laughed at the other end.

"Yeah, you did. When I told the pack about seeing you, they kind of thought that you'd disappear again now that I knew you were back." He admitted.

"Jake, you told the others I was back?" Bella asked, astonished.

"Bella, calm down. It's fine. Here, how about if we talk this over in person. I miss you."

"Jake, I'm not sure if that's the best idea. You're reaction to me when you smelled me at the hospital."

"Bella, that is ridiculous. I've missed you. Especially considering how things ended."

"Jake, I've missed you too. Ok, how about if you come to my house. I live right outside of Forks."

Jacob agreed to meet Bella at her house around seven so they could catch up. He seemed to be truly thrilled to have her back which concerned Bella. This wasn't natural. They were enemies because of what they are, yet their friendship hasn't seemed to change. Bella glanced at her watch- it was now 5:30. She busied herself by learning more medical information about Charlie's illness. There was no cure and she knew that he had been sick for a while. Everything that she has read made her more and more frustrated. She hated that her father was all alone and now his life was truly ending. Bella was reading an article when she heard the doorbell ring. Bella looked at the clock; it said it was 7:15.

"You're early," Bella said as she greeted her friend.

"Well, it's new territory to me, I l gave myself plenty of time to find your house."

Bella noticed that he didn't seem to smell as strongly now as he did at the hospital. She invited him in, "Come in."

"Thanks, you have a great house." Bella knew that this wasn't just a compliment, he really meant it. Bella has spent some time decorating, making her house her own.

"Thanks Jake," she replied as they walked into the living room. It was small, yet very warm and cozy. Bella sat on the sofa, Jake sat across in a chair.

"How's Charlie doing?" Jake asked.

"He's suffering," Bella replied. "The cancer is spreading and he's in a lot of pain." Her voice was full of agony over the suffering of her father.

"I'm so sorry. I should have known. I haven't really talked with my father for a while." Jake was remorseful.

"It's ok Jake. You have your own life to live. Besides, there isn't anything anyone can do now." Bella closed her eyes.

"Bella, there is something that I need to say to you." Jacob spoke in a low, grave voice. "You didn't let me say it before, but I'm sooo sorry." Bella was about to protest, but he held up a hand, asking her not to interrupt.

"I should have listened to you. Back then I was just a kid. I didn't think that anyone could outsmart the pack. I was wrong and you had to pay the price."

"Jacob, it's not your fault that Victoria wanted to kill me." Bella said gently, yet very firmly. "We had no way of knowing that she'd have an army. She could have killed you all. I'm grateful that I was able to stop that from happening."  
"At the cost of losing your own life." Jake said miserably.

"Yes, but I didn't lose my life. I just became something else. Jake, my life was lost when the Cullens left. You saw that. The mere fact that I was bitten and turned is just cruel irony. "

"I'm sorry that you had to leave after everything you've been through. Sam just had to keep peace. Paul would have killed you or you would have killed him. Either was it was a death sentence for one of my friends." Jacob was near tears. The regret in his voice was evident.

"Jake, I understand. Of course I had to leave, officially I was dead. Even if Paul didn't try to kill me I would have left." Bella tried to ease his pain.

"He won't get in your way again."

"He's not happy that I'm back, is he?" Bella asked, knowing the answer.

"No, but he has gained some control. He met a girl a year ago. Her name is Suzanne. She has changed him completely. They are engaged to be married in a month. Paul will leave you alone as long as you don't threaten us."

Bella was happy to hear this. She was also relived that Paul isn't going to start hunting her the way he did just after her transformation.

"What does he think about us meeting?" Bella asked.

"I'll find out as soon as he does. I didn't exactly inform the pack about this." Jake sounded sheepish.

"Jake, what if they get upset. I really don't need a pack of werewolves after me."

"Bella, no one is coming near you if they want to hurt you. I will tear any one of my brothers apart if they try. They know this and they will give you privacy." He growled. Bella sighted.

She and Jake talked until almost midnight. Bella told him that she traveled a lot after she left. She never settled anywhere longer than three months. Being back in Forks wouldn't be any different. Jake was disappointed when she told him that she'd be leaving as soon as Charlie passed away. This made them both sad, about the death and the separation.

"Have you ever heard from the Cullens?" Jacob asked right before leaving.

"No, why would I?" Bella replied sadly.

Realizing that she still cared for them made Jake angry. She deserved better. Bella closed the door after Jake left with a sharp pain in her chest. She was happy for Jacob, from what he told her about his family- they sounded like everything he could ever hope for to make him happy. This also brought Bella a small joy knowing that her former best friend had a happy life with a wonderful family. "Something that I'll never have," Bella thought to herself. Her yearning to see the Cullens suddenly overwhelmed her. She still thought of them as her family, and she still loved them.


	6. Guilt trip from hell

It's been several weeks since Bella's return. She was keeping busy taking care of whatever needs she could for Charlie. She recalled his reaction the first time she walked into the house as Liz Mullen.

His mouth fell open when he saw her. Bella was terrified that she hasn't done enough to disguise her appearance. "Hello," she mumbled quietly. "My name is Liz, I'm your assigned volunteer from the hospital." Charlie somewhat gathered himself together. "Hi, there." He said. "I'm Charlie, I'm used to be Chief Swan, but that was before I got cancer. Come in Liz," he motioned her in. Bella stepped into her house carefully, studying it like it's her first time seeing the inside of the it. Charlie led her into the living room, where his old chair still stood. "Well, have a seat," he told her motioning toward the couch. She sat down, looking around the way she would in a house she's never been in before. Charlie sat down in the recliner. It was a moment of awkwardness between them.

Suddenly he asked, "are you related to the Cullen's by any chance?" Bella's breath stopped at the mention of their name. She thought of how cruel the question was if Charlie knew what it meant to Bella. No, she was not a Cullen… She was not good enough to be one.

She quickly composed her body and answered, "No, sir. I'm not. I'm new here and I live with my aunt." Then she added, "who are the Cullens?" Charlie believed her without a second thought. "oh, they're a family that used to live here in Forks. They moved away a long time ago… You have a remarkable resemblance to them. They had pale skin, light brown eyes. I guess it's just my imagination playing with my eyes."

As Charlie described them, Bella's mind ran over the human memories she had of Cullens. It was an involuntary reaction. She decided to change the subject.

"So, Charlie, you said you used to be the Chief? How was it? I bet you were one hell of a cop." She said, though she already knew the answer.

He gave her a hearty laugh. "You bet right. I was a cop all of my life until I retired a year ago. I was the best job in the world for me."

Bella started asking him more questions. Acting like she didn't know anything about his past. He told her about his work, his friend Billy, his co-workers. He also told her stories about what types of criminals he has to deal with. Most of the stories were not very scary, just funny at how stupid people can act. She was surprised at how much her father was willing to talk. He used to be a very private person when she lived with him. She decided that he was probably very lonely.

As the days went on, Bella finally got enough courage to ask Charlie about herself. Of course, she asked if he was ever married or had any children. It was a difficult topic for Charlie to talk about.

"I had a daughter. Her name is Bella. She disappeared a long time ago." The loss in his eyes was painful for Bella to watch. She saw how much he was still struggling with her disappearance.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

Charlie composed his face before answering, "she was gone to visit a friend and didn't come back. There wasn't even a trace of her left. No one ever found a clue. She left no sign of running away, and no one could ever find any trace of a kidnapping." Charlie was struggling with words. "it's like she just vanished into thin air. I didn't give up looking until I was too sick to leave the house. She was everything to me. My baby, my beautiful girl." He had a picture of Bella in the living room he reached and picked up. His grief was still so fresh, it broke Bella's heart.

Looking after Charlie was easy and hard at the same time. Bella relished the time she got to spend with him but it was difficult. Charlie was in pain most of the time, he coughed often, and didn't have much energy. Looking at her father, his wrinkles on his face, his gray hair, his worn out body she wished that she could have been in his life. She wondered how much she influenced his aging. Maybe he would be in better shape and health if it wasn't for her. Bella knew that this type of thinking would get her nowhere but on a guilt trip from hell. She tried her best to accommodate her father in any way she could. She cooked for him, cleaning his house, made sure that medications were in order. Yet the guilt never ceased.

Bella was also very careful around Charlie. She wanted to make sure that he never picked up on anything that would give away who she really is.

School was just a break between being at Charlie's house. Bella started her day at 6:30 by going to his house before school to make his breakfast and administer his medication. She would leave around 7:45 for school and come back after it ended. She usually stayed until 6:30 or 7 before going home. During her nights Bella would read or write. This gave her a release from the present. She could escape for a couple of hours into a world that didn't hold her problems. She also began hunting every couple of days. Not because of her thirst, but just for something to do that was also a safety precaution.

She talked to Jacob on the phone every couple of days. He was working a lot. He has his own autoshop and was constantly busy. Bella was glad because Jacob's job seemed to make him happy. He was just as silly and carefree as she remembered him. He talked about his daughter quite a bit. Her name was Ella and she was 10. Ella was Jacob's pride and joy. Bella asked about her name since it had a resemblance her to her own. Jacob just laughed, "yeah, Bella, she is named after you."

Looking at the people Bella left behind, for the first time she wondered what her life would have been like if she remained human.


End file.
